Happy Valentine’s Ay….Coz I Dont Want The D

One day that chubby little c**t with a bow and arrow will do me a solid. So far, he’s done me no favours. 

Granted the general attitude these days of “these ho’s ain’t loyal” doesn’t help, especially when most guys from my generation assume girls are texting/seeing several guys at once.

Here’s a hot tip! Not every girl has a bunch of guys on the side and some have no interest in seeing several people at once and these girls sure AF don’t want to be on some f*ckboys roster.

Oh did that sound a little aggressive?

Good!

I’m one of those girls who is sick of the assumption and just for once would like for things to fall into place. I’m tired of the worry and the nerves and being left hanging because the guy I’m seeing is too much of an a**hole to acknowledge he’s purposefully making me catch feelings to keep me around when he feels like it, but decides to distance himself in intervals instead of growing some balls and admitting he created the whole situation by giving me the boyfriend treatment when I’m with him but not actually planning on doing anything about it. And let’s not mention that I found out he has a girlfriend….and I found out today….on Valentine’s Day. *insert sarcastic LOLLLLLLL here*. Just teaches me I should read a crappy tv or woman’s magazine every now and then or do an Internet stalk instead of thinking that someone I’ve known for four years could be genuine and honest and upfront about those sorts of things. But that’s what I get for involving myself with a pseudo celebrity tv star who lies so much he probably sees nothing wrong with what he does and there not being a trace of his girlfriend on his social media from what I could see, made it all the more easy for him to hide it. It’s such a shame because not only has he repeatedly disrespected me, he’s also treating his girlfriend like an idiot. While she’s away working overseas, he thought taking me out to dinner and sleeping with me and being concerned about me when things like my car broke down and wanting me to know I can always call him for anything was ok. Well it wasn’t and it isn’t. It would have been if he wasn’t double dipping and I’m stupid for allowing him to fool me more than once….but god forbid I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt and try and believe he’s a good person because I’ve known him for so long. Unfortunately he didn’t deserve any of it or my trust in him. 

*long deep breath* 

What I’ve walked away from with this is be careful what you say and who you do because there’s a difference between being a man and a boy and it’s not just age. This goes for the ladies too. Both sexes are guilty of making similar mistakes. So before you go and assume anything and break someone’s heart or hurt them, make sure you think about what it is like in their shoes. Don’t promise the world if all you can offer is a sometimes and a half hearted one at that….the person you’re playing with deserves a lot more. 

One day said a**hole will grow up and realise there was someone amazing right in front of them who didn’t have to be treated so badly. But by then it will be too late.

Nobody waits around forever or wants to be an emotional punching bag and sometimes a sorry isn’t enough because some things aren’t fixable. I’m not saying anything to him about it now and I don’t know if I ever will. To be honest…I don’t think it would make a lick of difference if I did. He wouldn’t have done this to me to begin with if it that was the case. 

I won’t be ok for a while but I will be ok in the end. Eventually the scales balance. Eventually everything will be alright. It’s just going to take time. 

xoxo Natalie

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s