Prescription For The Soul: Part 2

After some more thought and a few interesting encounters with people of late, I realised that with every experience, I am tweaking and updating my guidelines for life.
I’ve learnt that I tend to tweak and add to my list when encountering behaviour I definitely do not want to emulate.

Ever.

There were three experiences which made an impact.

The first experience was one where I found myself being bullied into spending more money than what I could afford. It was uncomfortable and unfair and certainly gave me an appreciation for the simple things in life because I realised you don’t have to spend excessive amounts of money to be happy. Happiness doesn’t come from one’s bank account or how much money one can flaunt. Yes, having the capability to do wonderful things due to working hard and having the money to do them is fantastic and a deserved reward, but when someone doesn’t understand that you are not in a financial position to play willy nilly with your money, it then leaves a bad taste in your mouth.

So first new rule:
I will not live beyond my means for anyone.

The second experience was one that has been festering. Someone who started off being quite pleasant and interesting, over time became increasingly antagonistic and took to attacking me verbally every time they saw me.
They attacked my appearance, attacked me for assumptions they made about me and my personal life and then attacked me for defending myself when being harrassed.
What started off as jovial jibes quickly turned into incessant aggressive assaults.
I have a limit and when it was reached, I dismissed them from my life. Simple.
However, what was most interesting is when I chose to no longer interact with that person, they took offense that I walked away and no longer wanted to involve myself in conversation with them. I was stunned that here I was, diffusing a situation I didn’t deserve to be in as they were being conflicting for sport, and yet in typical narcissistic fashion, they twisted the situation in their mind to paint me as the wrong doer all because I wouldn’t allow them to continue their negative behaviour.
Since I no longer allowed them to verbally abuse me, their next step was to then find anyone who would listen and they began their slander campaign. Not only did they bring up the “issue” of me refusing to speak to them, they took it upon themselves to claim that I do nothing all day when at my job and kept inisisting I was not needed and so the money shouldn’t be spent on having me to do the job assigned.
Personally I believe a person who has nothing better to do than obsess over things which aren’t their business is the one who has nothing to do all day. It also reiterated for me that knowing when to walk away is wisdom, being able to is courage and walking away with your head held high is dignity. It is beautiful to stay silent when someone expects you to be enraged. I will not give them that power.

This led to the second new rule:
I will not engage with toxic people.

The third experience, to keep it simple, doesn’t need explanation. I’ll just give you my third and final new rule because it is pretty self explanatory……

I will not base my decision on something or someone due to someone elses opinion. Especially when that opinion is judgemental, close minded and ignorant. You can also bet I sure as Hell will not agree if you try and shove your opinion down my throat. Always remember that old saying, “Opinions come from assh*les”.

…Oops! That’s not how the saying goes….but you catch my drift 😉

xoxo Natalie

 

Maybe She’s Born With It…

A few weeks ago I decided to run an experiment. I used myself as the Guinea Pig.
I wanted to see whether or not we really are moving forward and embracing people for who they are, or whether we still prefer the edited and filtered version that is most appealing and “cute” to the eye.

I first posted a photo of myself, makeup free, hair not done, just sitting like a bum on my day bed staring out the window like a usually do on a lazy Sunday afternoon.


I captioned it “Funny how it’s photos like these that are the hardest to embrace”.

I said that because it is true. It is hard to look at a non-primped version of yourself and accept that that is what you really look like when you are confronted by images in the media that are always on point and celebrities who appear to be slaying 24/7.
Expectations become unrealistic and so looking at a raw photo of yourself can be cringe worthy. So you pick yourself apart because who better to be your own worst enemy than yourself!

I posted the photo to Instagram and to Facebook and waited for the responses.

29 likes on Instagram (I’m not Nick Bateman ok…I don’t have that many followers) and 51 likes on Facebook later, I was actually pretty surprised with the response. I really didn’t think the reaction would be so positive so I was quite taken aback by the love and support and the high fives for posting me as I am when nobody is looking.
Lots of kind words were said and it was refreshing and encouraging.

My next step was to test the waters with an edited photo where I tweaked my skin tone, smoothed out some imperfections and ensured the pose was one of those cutesy AF types that makes girls with self respect cringe (look it happened guys….I’m not gonna say I hated doing it….but I’m not gonna say I’m ashamed either…lol).


I captioned it according to my upcoming leave from work and it was a little sassy to match the pose.

33 likes on Instagram and 54 likes on Facebook later, I realised there wasn’t much of a difference in reaction to either picture.

Both received a similar amount of traffic.
Both received a similar amount of interaction.
Both received a similar amount of love.

My conclusion…..nobody actually gives a sh*t.

Now I don’t mean that in a bad way at all!

Basically I found that whether I was being myself or being the airbrushed 2.0 version of myself, the same people still gave love and still gave a thumbs up because it wasn’t about what they were looking at….it was about me.
They interacted because of who I am not what I looked like in the pictures.

That is what counts to me more than anything.

I’ve seen the ugly side of the internet and I’ve experienced it.
It wasn’t easy to deal with and it was hard to get to a point where I felt comfortable putting myself out there again on many levels, not just photograph wise but blog wise. It was actually my first ever blog and twitter account that were attacked repeatedly by an individual some years ago and so for a long time I stepped away and didn’t engage on that kind of a platform. At the time it just wasn’t worth it.

But I grew and I moved forward and I’m no longer discouraged.

This little experiment helped reiterate for me that not everyone is toxic and not everyone expects the polished veneer to be in place all the time.

It helped remind me that it is more important to work on being beautiful on the inside.
The more you show who you are, the more beautiful you will be to yourself and to others.
You create beauty with your attitude, your actions and your behaviour.
Be the best possible version of yourself.

Be-You-Tiful

xoxo Natalie