After some more thought and a few interesting encounters with people of late, I realised that with every experience, I am tweaking and updating my guidelines for life.
I’ve learnt that I tend to tweak and add to my list when encountering behaviour I definitely do not want to emulate.
There were three experiences which made an impact.
The first experience was one where I found myself being bullied into spending more money than what I could afford. It was uncomfortable and unfair and certainly gave me an appreciation for the simple things in life because I realised you don’t have to spend excessive amounts of money to be happy. Happiness doesn’t come from one’s bank account or how much money one can flaunt. Yes, having the capability to do wonderful things due to working hard and having the money to do them is fantastic and a deserved reward, but when someone doesn’t understand that you are not in a financial position to play willy nilly with your money, it then leaves a bad taste in your mouth.
So first new rule:
I will not live beyond my means for anyone.
The second experience was one that has been festering. Someone who started off being quite pleasant and interesting, over time became increasingly antagonistic and took to attacking me verbally every time they saw me.
They attacked my appearance, attacked me for assumptions they made about me and my personal life and then attacked me for defending myself when being harrassed.
What started off as jovial jibes quickly turned into incessant aggressive assaults.
I have a limit and when it was reached, I dismissed them from my life. Simple.
However, what was most interesting is when I chose to no longer interact with that person, they took offense that I walked away and no longer wanted to involve myself in conversation with them. I was stunned that here I was, diffusing a situation I didn’t deserve to be in as they were being conflicting for sport, and yet in typical narcissistic fashion, they twisted the situation in their mind to paint me as the wrong doer all because I wouldn’t allow them to continue their negative behaviour.
Since I no longer allowed them to verbally abuse me, their next step was to then find anyone who would listen and they began their slander campaign. Not only did they bring up the “issue” of me refusing to speak to them, they took it upon themselves to claim that I do nothing all day when at my job and kept inisisting I was not needed and so the money shouldn’t be spent on having me to do the job assigned.
Personally I believe a person who has nothing better to do than obsess over things which aren’t their business is the one who has nothing to do all day. It also reiterated for me that knowing when to walk away is wisdom, being able to is courage and walking away with your head held high is dignity. It is beautiful to stay silent when someone expects you to be enraged. I will not give them that power.
This led to the second new rule:
I will not engage with toxic people.
The third experience, to keep it simple, doesn’t need explanation. I’ll just give you my third and final new rule because it is pretty self explanatory……
I will not base my decision on something or someone due to someone elses opinion. Especially when that opinion is judgemental, close minded and ignorant. You can also bet I sure as Hell will not agree if you try and shove your opinion down my throat. Always remember that old saying, “Opinions come from assh*les”.
…Oops! That’s not how the saying goes….but you catch my drift 😉