Please Don’t Be Nice To Me

Being nice has become a gesture of convenience. It rarely comes naturally anymore.
Lately every encounter of nice has been temporary. It’s been a bartering tool. A bargaining chip. A kick in the gut.

Ever had someone mistakenly put you in a position of misfortune?
Has that person then switched on the nice button to excess to make up for their bad deed?

It’s one of those moments that whilst you can appreciate their need to atone for what they have done to you, they are also in turn creating another positon of misfortune.

Don’t feel like you have to be nice while you’re in the guilt bubble.
When it pops, what then?
Because the moment has passed it’s ok to assume the effort made was enough?

Most of the time the answer to that is no.
Outstretching the hand of friendship and concern is only genuine when it is consistent. Being social and apologetic and nice only when it means squashing whatever guilt you feel for creating a sh*tty situation comes from a selfish place, not a selfless one.

Once that nice button is switched off after the fact, you’ve still left that person to deal with whatever situation you not only put them in initially, but you have left them with dealing with where they stand with you in the long run.

So please, don’t be nice to me.

Ever had someone say they would contribute and be a part of charitable and then when push came to shove they didn’t follow through on their end and left you in the lurch?

When it comes to being charitable, whether it be with your time or your generosity by giving, don’t raise your hand to participate and then back out because it’s “too hard” or because you were only looking for the recognition to be labelled as a good person but didn’t actually want to do the work to earn the title.

Being nice goes further than acknowledging that you want to be a part of something bigger. Being nice means following through. Being nice means showing up. Being nice means being true to your word.

Once again, that nice button when switched off after the fact has left others questioning your character. Don’t try and make yourself look big when your actions make you look small.

So please, don’t be nice to me.

You may be sitting there reading this wondering, well what do you want?

I’ll tell you………

I want a person to be real.
I want them to be themselves.
I want them to be the best version of who they are and not some charicature they think you want them to be.
Being nice isn’t making empty promises and it isn’t acting out of obligation.
Being nice should be being who you are.
When you are true to yourself you ring true to the world.

So please don’t be nice to me if we both know it’s pretend…..I’d rather not be given hope than be given nothing in the end.

xoxo Natalie

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