I was planning to do a very different kind of post, but recently I witnessed something at work for the umpteenth time and it made me begin to wonder at what point will the cycle end.
There is someone I work with whom you have to be on eggshells around constantly. It’s not just staff members like me but senior management also who need to pander to this person because they are personally victimised by everything. And when I say everything, I mean you blink to keep your eyeballs moist and you did something wrong.
To be honest I’m starting to feel victimised by their victimisation which I’m sure in some roundabout way they would say victimises them because they need to be the focus. All. The. Time.
I think the reason it has begun to bother me so much is time and time again I see this person conveniently disappear when work needs to be done, they leave others high and dry in situations that require team work and they come up with any excuse to not do necessary tasks (including rehashing traumas from eons past to guilt others into saying “It’s ok, I’ll do it”).
The funny thing is on the flip side, when this person conveniently disappears and someone picks up their slack and does their work for them, they complain and complain and complain saying others “stole” their job and it isn’t fair. Yet when this person blatantly steps on others toes by taking over tasks they are not required for because the people required always show up and the same issue they complained about is raised about them or with them, everyone is a bully and a c**t and treats them like sh*t.
Either way nobody can win.
I’ve sat here and wondered, how do you even broach something like this with a person who can be so unreasonable. How do you even get them to take a step back and realize nobody is out to get them, everyone just wants to do their job and not have to worry that there is going to be another meltdown around the corner.
It’s draining and exhausting and it’s getting old.
I would love to one day have a free pass to be straight up. To be able to say “Stop!” when they are pushing everyone too far. To be able to say it clearly that not everything is about them. And to show that the more you cry wolf and claim everyone hates you when they don’t, actually creates rifts and pushes people away.
But can you really reason with someone who believes their own lies….
A person can only put up with trying to be nice to someone and tolerate their outbursts while being slammed for so long. There does come a point where trying to be nice to keep the peace is a lost cause because it falls on deaf ears. But it is in those moments I remind myself of this…
It makes me stop and think, out of the two, who would I rather be….the person trying to be nice or the one isolating everyone.
Who would you rather be?